In Soviet Russia, the way to deal with undesirables was to exile them to the region of Siberia. Siberia is more or less a giant ice cube poised in the centre of hell, and for the most part it was pretty effective at quelling dissent.
However, Soviet Russia has nothing on Marshmerrican Marshmarrow. In fact, Marshmarrow’s undesirables would probably eat their own hands to go to Siberia instead of the Marshmarrow equivalent. Seriously. Some have tried. It’s neither pretty or effective.
On Marshmarrow, making yourself an enemy of the state- which is quite easy to do as the “state” changes every few minutes as the coup d’etat line stands strong outside the Marshmerrican governmental palace- carries with it a punishment that can only be described as Ryanair + 5. To go against the will of the leader is to buy a one way ticket to SHAME BOX.
SHAME BOX is just that, a remote island prison where the word “shame” spins around you at 5000 revolutions per minute. Scientists don’t know why the word “shame” spins around you at 5000 revolutions per minute, but upon learning of its existence the current Marshmarrowite president (Marack Mobama, r.05:02:15 to 05:04:11 10 July, 2009) declared that it was “fucking sick as, man”. This statement resulted in both the prison’s inception and Marack Mobama’s downfall.
Many Marshmarrowites have done time in SHAME BOX for crimes ranging from petty theft to being a black guy, and ten out of nine agree that it’s “unpleasant” and “not very pleasant at all”. The other six contributed to SHAME BOX’s record 98% suicide rate. Whilst tragic, one cannot blame them.
The future of SHAME BOX has come into question during recent times. A vocal minority party, the Marshmarrowites United for Why the Fuck Are We Doing This Again I Mean Come On Guys We Could Just Shoot Them In the Head With Like a Missile or Something I Mean It Would be Much Cheaper and Quite Frankly We’re a Little Strapped for Cash if You Think About It and Funds Could be Allocated Elsewhere Like Finding Clean Water or Dealing With the Giant Spider People of Drak’tar 5 Seriously Those Guys Are Big Dicks Who Ate My Kids and Really I’d Like to See Some Progress Being Made Toward Fining Them for That Because Truly if Anyone Deserves a Fine It’s the Giant Spider People for Causing Us so Much Trouble, has been a leading advocate for SHAME BOX’s immediate closure, but the effectiveness of their campaign- involving posters with slogans like “SHAME BOX is kinda a stupid thing if you think about it bro” and “Man, if SHAME BOX were any lamer it would be called LAME BOX”- is questionable at best.
Current president, Brigadier General Miet Mepsi Mola, has ensured that under his reign SHAME BOX would continue to bring peace of mind to the dozens not currently in SHAME BOX. Sadly, his reign ended violently as I was typing the “z” in “dozens”.